Why?

(Try to find out what feelings and needs are alive in the other person: empathic resonance)

Do you feel uncomfortable/ annoyed when you see men/women doing things, which are not according to your gender expectations?
Does it give you more clarity/a better grip when men and women behave the way that you are used to?
What I’m hearing is that you are not comfortable by seeing these things because you think that a (wo)man shouldn’t do this. You like men to do the things men are supposed to do and women to do their things. You like to have some kind of clarity in this case, is that so?

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What if?

(‘Mirror questions’: how would it be if you were standing in the shoes of that person)

How would you react when your son wants to become a dancer or your daughter a soccer player and you see they are really good at dancing or soccer?

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Self-reflection

(Questions you can ask yourself in silence to support yourself in understanding the other person)

How important is social comfort/control/security for me?
When do I have the need for it?
How do I feel when this need is not fulfilled?

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Empowerment

(More information on the issue and tips how to explore the problem and continue the discussion)

There are several biological differences between men and women and those are universal. But the differences we expect in their behaviour are gender roles that have been decided culturally and will not be the same forever and whenever.
How does it feel for you when I say this? Could you name examples of biological and cultural differences from your own environment? How is it to look at it this way that the differences aren't as clear? Does that make you feel insecure?