Why?
(Try to find out what feelings and needs are alive in the other person: empathic resonance)
Are you puzzled/uneasy/ worried?
Do you need safety/comfort?
I guess you are puzzled/uneasy/ worried. You think raised by gay parents will be harmful for the children. What you want is safety/comfort. Is that what you are saying?
What if?
(‘Mirror questions’: how would it be if you were standing in the shoes of that person)
Do you personally know children that are raised by gay parents? In what way do you think they are different from other children?
Self-reflection
(Questions you can ask yourself in silence to support yourself in understanding the other person)
How important is safety/comfort for me?
When do I have the need for it?
How do I feel when this need is not fulfilled?
Empowerment
(More information on the issue and tips how to explore the problem and continue the discussion)
Research has shown that homosexuality is most likely a born trait and your environments, such as how you were raised, social contacts and youth traumas, have almost no influence on whether you are gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Cornell University collected a total of 79 studies in which the well-being of children of LGTBI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) families is evaluated. Seventy-five out of those 79, conclude that these children have no more problems than those who grow up in heterosexual families. Overall, it is a set of evidence strong enough for the scientific community to have dismissed the idea that belonging to an LGTBI family produce children with more mental and gender identity problems.
This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein.
Project Number: 2018-1-DE02-KA204-005060